Not All Opposites Attract
by Danmaku Grazer
Summary: Oneshot parody. Oh boy a cliche...Kagome finds InuYasha and Kikyo making out, what will she do? Anti-SesshomaruxKagome story. OOC. Read at your own risk.


**A/N: Warning this story is only for SessKag haters...actually lovers can read it too if they desire - FLAME ME FANGIRLS OR POSSIBLE FANBOYS MUHAHA! Now that I got that out of my system let the story begin.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned InuYasha, Kagome would die instead of Kikyo.**

It was a beautiful day in the feudal era, the birds were singing, bees were buzzing, and everything was peaceful.

Kagome the person who fights in her school uniform, was singing while skipping through the woods. That was until she saw a dreadful sight.

In the middle of the meadow was Kikyo and InuYasha making out, unaware of everything that surrounds them.

"OMG LYK INUYASHA HOW CULD U LYK DU THS TO ME!!" Kagome yelled at him.

"Because Kikyo uses correct grammar," InuYasha muttered still making out with the lovely dead priestess.

"WAH!" Kagome then ran off crying thus making one of the most cliche plots in InuYasha fanfiction. InuYasha being the heartless out-of-character bastard he is, did not care.

Kagome ran and ran. She continued to run far away. And well you get the idea. Eventually she ran into the deadly western lands.

"Why do you weep on the ground, priestess?" A monotone voice asked. It was (trumpet noises)  
the almighty Lord Sesshomaru!

"Becuz lyk InuYasha brok up wif me so lyk i am sad, lol," Kagome explained. Her eyes were staring at Sesshomaru with amazement. _Is this love at first sight_, Kagome wondered. _Wow I talk in proper sentences when I think that is so cool, laugh out loud._

"Now priestess I will take you to my castle so I can make my half-brother jealous," Sesshomaru declared sweeping Kagome off her feet.

"OK," Kagome giggled not minding the fact that Sesshomaru just kidnapped her. Suddenly her world went black.

* * *

Awaking in a beautiful room, Kagome found herself asleep on a nice plush bed. _Sesshomaru must have put me here,_ she thought glancing around._ He is so hot_... After getting out of bed, the door opened.

"Greeting priestess, now instead of tortueing you, I will allow you to be a guest in my castle. Enjoy," Sesshomaru explained.

Jaken appearing out of nowhere handed Kagome a brochure and then the two demons left.

* * *

"LYK OMG RIN YOU ARE LYK SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO KAWAII!" Kagome exclaimed when she saw Rin in a kimono.

"Rin is scared..." Rin said, trembling in fear.

"Ima lyk gonna be mommy now so lyk call me mommy," Kagome explained simply.

Rin nodded not knowing what Kagome just said. "Uh-uh, well Rin must get going," Saying that Rin quickly scrambled off somewhere.

_What a nice girl_, Kagome thought happily, skipping off to another place. I must declare my undying love for Sesshomaru soon since he is so much hotter and cooler than InuYasha, she thought making a fist.

* * *

"Sesshomaru i luv u," Kagome declared.

The demon lord's eye twitched. "This Sesshomaru, can't take this any fucking more," he muttered. "I don't care if I become so out-of-character that I actually show emotion, just not for this priestess!" Sadly though the 'ooc' disease began to take over his body. "I love you too, now I will teach you how too fight."

"YAY!"

"Lets go out into the courtyard then."

* * *

Sesshomaru taught Kagome how to fight with swords. Suddenly a group of bandits showed up.

"Kagome my love, show them what I just taught you," Sesshomaru encouraged.

Kagome stood still while the bandits surrounded her. "INUYASHA! HELP ME! SESSHOMARU SAVE ME!" She cried for help.

One bandit took a hold of the teenager and galloped away with her struggling. The other bandits followed. While this happened Sesshomaru did absolutely nothing because he gained his normal cold hearted personality back.

And everyone lived happily ever after. Except the bandits who all died mysteriously of heart attacks...

**A/N: Very stupid and random I know. I promise I did not mean any Kagome bashing, only the pairing bashing. I still can't figure out why I made Kagome talk like that though...oh yeah I have problems thats why. **


End file.
